Vespucciland

James Bond is necessary. Perhaps a necessary evil, but still necessary. The man is a paid assassin, literally possessing a license to kill. The franchise celebrates a violent, misogynistic, alcoholic, who is nevertheless charming, handsome, brilliant, and ridiculously good at his job. The man is necessary because he’s been saving the world for the past […]

There will come a point in the not-too-distant future when a deep investigation of police brutality will make even cop defenders shake their heads in disbelief. For years now we’ve had police recorded on phones and captured on surveillance cameras beating and killing suspects, mostly minorities. Those who blindly defend police officers say that there […]

I resisted. I had better things to do. I had worse things to do. Far worse, but more fun, more enjoyable. Stuff that would have lasting positive memories. I could watch baseball. Hang out with friends. Write stories about the sad and lonely (my specialty). I could enjoy summer in New York, walk the parks, […]

In David Foster Wallace’s epic, monstrous, some would say tortuous and incomprehensible tome, Infinite Jest, a film is made that is so addictively entertaining, that it makes viewers lose interest in anything else. They basically become vegetables who can no longer take care of themselves and who eventually die.[1] This plot is interspersed with a […]

I’m pretty smart, or at least I like to think I’m pretty smart. I’m the guy who, when he gets on just about any topic, has an opinion that will not be relinquished without undue force. Arguing an idea is like a medieval battle, with two foes going after one another until both are bloody […]

It is customary for me to show the trailer to the film I am reviewing at the end of the post. Here, however, it’s probably best if you watched it before continuing. Yes, this film exists. It is not CGI. It is not faked. I only hope Orson Welles saw it before he died; he […]

I want to show you an ad. It aired during one of the recent Super Bowls. It’s called “Parisian Love” because even ads need titles. This is, without a doubt, one of the best advertisements I’ve ever seen. It’s simple, straightforward, tells a compelling story (yes, ads can tell stories), and is resonant with anybody […]

First, a disclaimer. If you have not yet seen the film Birdman and still wish to, stop reading, go see Birdman, then come back, read my review of Birdman, then read this. If you haven’t seen Birdman and don’t wish to, how did you end up here? Disclaimer complete, spoilers and theories on the way. […]

There is no God. Let me rephrase: there is no God that would create a thinking person who would willingly submit himself to the film Fifty Shades of Grey just so he could hate review it soon thereafter. That person is obviously a masochist. Like the non-title character of said film, Anastasia Steele (who apparently […]

Great movies can be experienced by all regardless of genre. Those who claim to hate science fiction love Star Wars. Anti-romantic comedians adore Annie Hall. Don’t like action flicks? Try Die Hard. Costume dramas? Gosford Park. Oaters? The Good, the Bad and the Ugly. Great movies turn haters into lovers. But if you love a […]